Is Happiness the Key to a Great Life?

I received an e-mail from a dear friend this week with this quote attached: “The objects of the present life fill the human eye with a false magnification because of their immediacy.”  The author is William Wilberforce, a man from a previous time who I deeply admire.

As a member of the British parliament, Wilberforce was integral to the abolition of slavery in the British empire.  His foundational traits of persistence, conviction, and passion demanded that he continue to fight the gross injustice of slavery, in spite of equally persistent opposition.  His ability to see beyond the immediate trappings of desire to the bigger picture led to a foundational shift in the British empire.

The desire to be happy is one that most of us have espoused at some point.  How many times have you heard yourself, or someone else, saying, “I just want to be happy.”?  Happiness, in our culture, is often preached as the best pathway to well-being.  Wilberforce’s quote directly addresses that ideal because happiness often becomes a magnified object, distorting our vision of life, and filling our minds and hearts with the immediacy of our desires.  It’s difficult when we become enamored by an ideal that can’t be translated into reality, a desire that can’t be fulfilled in a grounded, realistic way.

The problem with putting all of our stakes in being happy is that happiness is an emotion, and emotions are fleeting; by their very nature they fluctuate, and because of this, valuing them as the goal of self-actualization predicates failure.  When we hope that the elusive goal of happiness will mean the dissolution of our obstacles, resolution of our relational hurts, and the creation of a sense of peace and security, we set ourselves up to be disappointed.

It can be painful to deconstruct the perspective that happiness is not an achievable goal.  However, the disappointment becomes more profound when we consistently experience the inability to reach that goal, and become demoralized.  If you’re looking for an alternative goal, a paradigmatic shift in thinking, may I suggest contentment.

Happiness is the shiny, new toy that quickly loses its brilliance; contentment is the treasured keepsake, unassuming, but unequivocally meaningful.  To operationally define contentment, let’s say that it is a decision we stick with in spite of our emotions.  To be content is to accept and value what we do have, whether we feel good or not.  It’s the gratitude of realistic understanding, coupled with the willingness to continue growing.

Contentment requires the ability to see the big picture and the desire to look beyond instant gratification and value what is and what can be.  Contentment takes significant courage.  Often we become overwhelmed by the fluctuating emotions that seem to indicate a lack of progress.  To be content requires the perspective to look beyond the gray-tinged emotions resolute not to allow those emotions to shape our reality.  Our progress is no more defined by what we feel than our worth is defined by our appearance.  Oftentimes, emotional tension is a marker of progress, not regression.  And that reality doesn’t fit with the elusive goal of happiness.

What would it mean for you to value your current life and situation?  How would your perspective change if you stopped aspiring to be happy?  What does it look like for you, personally, to be content?

This week, I’m deeply grateful for many things.  I had a perspective-altering experience that reminded me that in spite of my emotions, I can value life, I can appreciate the corner of the world that I’ve been tucked into, and I can desire to see that world shaped and influenced into something more unique and inviting.  My hope for you is that you encounter similar experiences that shape your view of life beyond your emotions.  Tucked into your corner, who could you be if you saw beyond the magnification of the pretty, shiny things to the more beautiful, layered substance of life?